Sorry about the Prologue-Epilogue, I didn’t think of the idea until after the first post or two, thus making it weird to publish a prologue. If you can, (I know I can’t) read through the story again, with the prologue, I think it’ll be a different experience. Excepting, of course, the fact that you already know what happens. Please enjoy, anyway.

Prologue

EJ’s Journal

April 7th

I don’t know what to do! John has disappeared. He’s not the man I married, and he’s only the husk of what he’s become. He used to be fun. Now I find only a coldness, and a calculatedness that doesn’t suit him.

I have attempted to point these things out, subtly. I have attempted to fix him by going to a movie with him, or making his favorite foods. Don’t get me wrong. I know he still loves me, because he tells me every night. He tells the kids every night, and I can see he means it. I think he’s working too hard for us. I think he’s trying to do too much. I know for sure that he doesn’t do things that would possibly, in any way, shape, form, color, height, weight, race, or nationality that would endanger his family.

The problem is that he doesn’t realize what he’s missing! This should be one of our happiest times! We have two kids, and a lovely house, he’s doing wonderfully in his business and his boss loves him. We have an amazing amount of money saved up, and we’ll be able to retire in about three years =)

As I write this, I think I am realizing what is breaking John. I don’t think he thinks he can do it anymore. He’s worried he’ll fail. That’s so sad! I try to tell him it doesn’t matter. I try to say I don’t love him for what he does, just who he is. He laughs as though he doesn’t believe me, and I say nothing more.

I know what he means now, when he says, “I’m doing this for you!” anytime the kids or I interrupt his work-away-from-work. He’s scared. He doesn’t trust himself enough to take care of us. He doesn’t believe in himself.

I feel like I’ve failed. I don’t know what to do know. I’m just wondering. Wondering never helped. I don’t know what I can do.

April 10th

I have decided what I can do! I have a surprise for John and I’ve arranged the perfect way to reveal it! John doesn’t know it, but Baby Number Three is on the way! I decided to surprise him and see what he does! I talked to his boss, a very nice man, and he said that we’ll be able to take a vacation. Sometime during the vacation, I’ll reveal my secret and he’ll be so excited! It’ll take his mind off of work and everything else! It’ll be perfect!