Here’s the re-write, finished some editing, a few typos. Also added something’s too. Two more chapters too.

Lost in the System

Ch. 1   A Fight, a Gun, and My Uncle.

I know that it was a school yard…and not a boxing ring…but that was enough. I swung my fist as hard as I could at her, fingers clenched so that my knuckles burned and my nails bit into the soft flesh of my palm. I was sick of her and the lies she was telling about me; sick to the point of slugging her.

“That…was…completely…UN…called…for.”

Cardown was breathing hard from the bruise that was already showing on her right jaw. Along with the black eye she had on the left side of her face. People were laughing and sniggering in the circle they had formed around us about the grass stain up the back of her white shirt.

“Oh was it now? Huh? You think that was un-called for? Then you’re sorely mistaken. There’s way more where that came from!”

“What was that for anyway, what have I done to you Sabere?”

I’m surprised you don’t know.” My voice was cynical; I had given up any reasoning with this girl whatsoever. There was just no point anymore. Every time I had tried to make peace another story came out of the blue, another completely and utterly fake and twisted lie. If I was going to deal with this, I had to do it the old-fashioned way. That’s where the black eye and bruised jaw came from. All I could do when she called me a…a…well, you don’t want to know…anyway, all I could do was swing, and swing, and swing. I missed her three times before my fist finally made contact with her left eye, and then her right cheek.

“You’ve built up every ounce of hate, and fury in me since I got here, and now you have the audacity to ask me what that was for, and what you’ve done to me.” I growled, I was filled with rage, I could feel adrenaline racing through me, I was ready for anything she was going to throw at me, punch or smart retort, though I didn’t think it her punching me was very likely.

She laughed as though there was something I was missing in this web of hate she had spun. What I didn’t know was that I was missing something. Something very important, that not even her ‘followers’ knew. This girl, this creature, that I thought hated me, wanted me to be shunned, left by myself, alone…given nothing but grief from everyone around me, was saving my life.

At that time all I was worried about was the fact that I had to make sure she never said anything but “I’m sorry,” to me ever again. Even if I had known what was going on while I was fighting this thing, this evil creature, wrapped in makeup and hairspray, letting loose all the rage that had been bottled up inside me for the past two years; now I know how stupid those actions were. While I was standing there, my parents were being killed, not a block away from where I was right then, and there was nothing I could do about it; nothing at all.

The stupidity I was showing then, I only understand now. She was still laughing, but then it hit us, both of us, we heard it at the very same time. There were sirens, and a police car flew down the street behind me. Even if I thought I didn’t, I already knew where it was headed when I saw it turn the corner behind the school. Then there was another sound, a gunshot. It pierced the silence like an arrow threw a target. What I saw in her eyes at that moment I will never forget, terror.

“I’m not finished with you.” I screamed behind me as I ran. I ran toward my house, as fast, possibly faster than my legs could carry me. By the time I got there it was too late. There were two stretchers being pulled through my door by four EMT’s. There was a hand hanging from one of them; it was my mothers. I ran again, straight to the stretcher. They didn’t stop pulling it to the ambulance. I grabbed the hand and pulled the ring off of it. Then I just stood there staring at the ring. I would never see them again. I would never know anyone that I cared about again. Or at least no one I cared about more than them. Then a man came up from behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a man in a trench coat, looking sort of Sherlock Holmes-ish.

“Miss Avery, please follow me.”

“I…ok.”

I followed the stranger to the door of the house, and stepped inside after him. There was a chalk outline of a body on the floor in the living room, and spots of red on the pure white carpet my mother was always so proud of. Then in the next room there was another outline. This one was smaller; I could tell it was hers. There were more red spots on the floor, I only just realized then it was blood.

My knees gave way and I sank to the floor; my hands clenching and un-clenching into fists. “Who did this?” I turned quickly on the man standing behind me. “WHO DID HIS?” I screamed this time, my voice drowned out by the thoughts going through my head. Who did this? Why? I swear if I find them…the man cut my thoughts off. “That’s what we’re trying to find out Miss Avery.”

“You seem to be taking it very slowly then. If you’re trying to find out who’d killed my parents then why are you still here?” I felt tears swelling to my eyes, but I blinked them away.

“We have other men inquiring everyone in town.”

“What do you want? Why are you talking to me instead of interviewing my neighbor’s then?” I said loudly, a tear in my eye; I blinked it away before it could fall.

“I want to ask you a few questions.”

“Ask away,” I said, my teeth clenched, I didn’t know why I felt so much anger toward him. I just needed something to vent it to, “But first, I have a question for you.”

“And what might that be?”

“What’s your name? Why do you want to help me?”

“Well I do believe that that was two questions, although I will make such an endeavor as to answer both,” He smiled, almost as though he was doing me a favor, “My name is Orvindenor Finchly, but you Miss, can call me Orvin, and as for me wanting to help you, I knew your parents. I may have some idea –with your help of course- who did this to them.”

“Okay…well. Then what’s your first question?”

“My first question is sort of a classic,” he smiled again; this was getting sort of irritating, “Is there anyone you know that could have had any motivation to hurt them?” He was quite right; this question was a classic police men/detective stereo-type.

“No…,” I said “At least not that I know of anyway.”

“Okay, well, is there anyone you know that would want to cause you any type of pain?”

“Well, yes…but…” I trailed off knowing that Cardown wouldn’t have gone so far as to get my parent’s killed.

He looked at me with his head tilted to one side “But, what?”

“She’s only a school bully. She would never have gone this far.”

“Right, well,” Orvin looked at his watch, “I should be going.”

“Aren’t there more questions you need to ask or something?”

“No, I’ve got all I need.” And with that, he stood, and walked out the door. If something could have been more odd than that I would have eaten the chair I was sitting on, later though, I would realize that if that was odd, I would have been made of wood because of chair consumption by the time I was 15.

I went to bed that night, alone, by myself in the small, or what seemed at that moment huge, house; with no one to say goodnight to, or to drink a cup of tea before bed with.

Ch. 2

Leaving.

I woke up at 2 am the next morning. I didn’t remember where I was, or what had happened for a few wonderful moments before it all came rushing back like a flood of scalding water, and there was a shiver down my spine when it came back to me that I was now alone in a world where being alone can mean everything and nothing. I tried for at least half an hour after to go back to sleep, but nothing happened.

I didn’t even become drowsy in the slightest. So I got out of bed, I didn’t need to dress; I hadn’t bothered to put on pajamas the last night, and started packing. I couldn’t let someone come and take me to an orphanage where I would wallow in my own self-pity until a complete stranger decided they wanted me. I wasn’t going to let that happen. I wasn’t going to become the person that that would make me. I wasn’t going to let go of my parents, and leave nothing but a memory, I was going to go find whoever killed them and get what I wanted; something a normal thirteen-year-old girl would never dream of doing.

But I don’t sound normal do I? I was going to get revenge on it. I couldn’t definitively say him or her because I didn’t know who it was, but I was going to find out. I didn’t know that right after I left there was a murderer hunting me; and I certainly didn’t know that I wasn’t his target, that my parents weren’t his target. Why I didn’t think about a mistake I don’t know, I was to wrapped-up in anger, and grief to think about why they had been killed.

All I cared about then was getting away, far away; as I stepped out of my bedroom I looked behind me to see a car coming down the street, then a turning signal, and snuck out the back door. All I could think when I hid behind the bush watching Orvin walk into my house was ‘screw you’. I wondered too, though. Why was this stranger that apparently knew my parents and wanted to help me coming to my house at 2 in the morning?

I thought for a sliver of a moment that maybe he did want to help me, that someone was after me, and he was trying to get me out; of course after I thought of it I knew it was a ridiculous notion, until I heard a voice behind me. “You really thought you could just run away?” It was Orvin. “Wait…what…how-“I was cut off by a short quiet chuckle.

“You think I would have left my niece here when there was a murderer on the loose that killed my sister?”

“Your…your… what,” I hissed through my teeth, “who’s your niece? If it’s Cardown…something bad is going to happen.” Then I flipped my pocket knife open and heard the click of the lock that stayed the blade, then, pointed it threateningly at him, the tip of the blade almost to his neck. This had no affect on him whatsoever. He just chuckled some more. “No, no, no. Definitely not Cardown, you.” He said this in a soft tone. Only making it more convincing. “So you’re my mother’s brother? Oddly convenient for you isn’t it; that my mother died. Now I’m beginning to wonder if you had anything to do with it.”

“What are you implying?”

“That this whole thing is a set-up to get me to an orphanage so you can be the hero detective finding the missing girl.”

“Oh no, you’re quite wrong there. I was coming to get you out of that,” he pointed to the house, “and away from here before you get into another fist fight or get yourself killed staying here alone. I know who killed them, and I know why, and I know he’s after you too.”

“You do know that that assumption could be completely invalid and the man who killed my parents could have only wanted to kill them?” My teeth were still gritted tightly together.

“Now you don’t believe that for a minute would you?”

“I was only making a point.” I still had the knife up to him; making absolutely sure that he stayed at least a foot away from me the whole time.  “Now, if you’ll put that thing down, pick up your things, and come with me we’ll get out of here before someone comes after you.” I stood, and followed him, he opened the door to the passenger side of his car for me, at this I looked at him suspiciously. “Why be so much a gentlemen…Uncle?” At this he smiled, and said nothing. This unnerved me, I was expecting a smart retort to follow his pointing hand motion, but nothing happened. I slid into the seat and he shut the door. He got in the other side and started to car. “Where are we going?” I looked at him skeptically, I didn’t know if I quite trusted him yet. “Somewhere far from here, far enough that in a week or two, no one will be looking for you anymore and we’ll be able to go look for the man that did this to you.”

“If I go missing then there will be people looking for me…everywhere.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you aren’t exactly in a place of popularity around here, and eventually people will lose interest; there won’t be anyone who really wants to look for you, and did I mention I quite good at making fake bodies?”

“No, you didn’t mention that,” I didn’t comment on the remark about my popularity level, “I still have unfinished business with a particular liar around town.”

“Well it’s going to have to wait. Here’s our plan, you come back to my house and wait there until I create a convincing enough replica of you-“I cut him off midsentence.

“What do you mean a convincing enough replica? Why do you need a replica of me?”

“Well, if we’re going to kill you we want to make sure that they think you’re dead don’t we?”

“WHAT? You’re going to what!?!?!”

“Sorry, I meant that figuratively, we are going to make a dead replica of you, then plant it far from where me are, and have someone find it. Then everyone thinks you’re dead and we can move on with plans. Ok?”

“That’s better, so after we plant the replica, then we going looking for whoever it is that killed Mom and Dad? Yes?”

“Yes.” Then I started laughing for no apparent reason.

“What’s so funny?”Orvin asked with a puzzled, almost worried look on his face.

“Oh, I just started hyper-ventilating for a minute there.” I was still giggling for a few seconds after. Orvin was looking at my with a worried look still. “What?” I was suddenly irritated now. “Oh, it’s nothing. You just…look so much like you mother when you laugh.”

“IF you did know my mother, then why did she never mention you?” I had been wondering this ever since he’d said he was –to the best of my knowledge- my mother’s sister. I was still cautious. Finding out my mother had a brother, let alone one she had never mentioned or showed me in even a picture. “Well that’s simple enough to explain. When you mother and I were in our teens we got in this huge fight. We wanted to go our separate ways when Mum and Dad divorced. Neither of us really knew what was going to happen if we did so. As it turns out we both went with Mum, but a week after I ran away. Living with my mother was awful. She hated me because I had wanted to go with Dad, so I ran to him; I never saw you, Sandra, or my mother again.”

“So, wait, when the whole thing about the divorce happened… she always told me John was my real grandpa.”

“No he was far from it; he’s the reason they got divorced. I hated him too, along with Mum; Dad was heart-broken after. I suppose that’s why Sandra never mentioned me. She didn’t want me to tell you the truth.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I was sad now. I could that lump in my throat forming, like when it does before I cry, but I swallowed it, in a manner of speaking anyway, and looked back out at the road ahead. I wondered if this was the last time I was ever going to see this town. The one I’d hated so much, but still called home; if I was ever going to finish that fight with Cardown. I didn’t think I would, I didn’t think I would ever see her again for long enough to give her a nice hard round-house the face. It would never happen, and I felt sort of sorry it wouldn’t. Now it was time to focus on hiding myself until we could plant the body and get out of here. I couldn’t think about old business anymore, I had to get my priorities straight, or die trying to find my parents killer with no plan at all.

Ch. 3

The Replication.

“So how exactly are you going to replicate me and make it look like a real body when they want to dissect it to make sure it’s real?”

“They’re not going to have to dissect you. We’re going to put a huge knife wound in your neck.”

“Ah, I see. And how are you going to make that look real?”

“Oh just multiple other stab wounds…throughout your body.”

“That’s revolting.”

“Yes, I agree, ‘tis quite revolting.”He was staring at me and sculpting a huge chunk of molding wax into a basic shape, he told me it was for a mold. I wasn’t quite sure yet what he was doing. When he finished he took the wax form and put it in a square container full of plaster. “That’s going to have to stay like that over-night, or at least for a few hours. I’m going to start making a wig, and then making a mask to put over the head. I need you to stay there so I can get your features right, Ok?”

“Oh…uh…Yeah, whatever.”

“You’re thinking about them aren’t you?”

“No, I’m thinking about what I’m going to do to the person that killed them, how I’m going to make them feel. I don’t know if I should pull one of those ‘life’s more punishment than death’ or just kill ‘em when I get the chance.”

“Well, you seem very determined to make sure this person pays. I can’t say if that’s a good thing or not.”

“Actually, the most of what I’m thinking about is how I’m going to get back at Cardown for keeping me at school when I could have been home, I could have done something to stop whoever it was.”

“If it was who I think it was, then there would have been nothing you could do. This person would have killed you in a minute without an ounce of remorse. That’s why I don’t associate with her anymore.”

“You mean to say you know who killed my parents, you know her…wait… it was a woman? A woman killed them?”

“Is that so hard to think of? I mean you being one yourself and the way you’re thinking about payback now?”

“Well…I…I…just-“

“You thought of the stereo-type psychotic guy who for no apparent reason wanted you parents dead. Don’t deny it. You know I’m right.”

“Yeah, you are.” I didn’t understand why he would know who killed them. Why he would even have an inkling of who it might have been. “How do you know who killed them? I mean how would you have associated with her in the first place?”

“When I told you that story…about me and your mom…I didn’t give you all the facts. We had an older sister; hated the both of us, and our parents. When she turned fifteen she left home. Sandra tried to stop her, and our parents caught her trying to run because of it; somehow a week after, she got out, and I never saw her again until six months ago. She asked me where you and your family were, she was odd looking, wearing this spy suit thing and a gun at her hip. Of course without a thought about why she would want to know I told her, and she left not a minute later. Then this whole thing happened. So I know.”

“Wow, you guys had an awful childhood…like really…that’s worse than me getting into a fist fight, way worse.”

“Yup, so now I’m here and you’re here, and we’re hiding from her.”

“I don’t want to hide. I want to find her, and make sure she knows what it feels like to lose something that you love.”

“Well, I don’t think you should do that, because, that would be sinking down to her level; sinking to a murderous evil place and state of mind.”

“You’re right. Maybe I should just focus on getting dead first.” I smiled at the thought of looking at the product of Orvin’s work, and seeing myself dead. I thought it might be kind of funny, although when the dummy was finished, it almost scared me. I silently thanked Cardown for all the things she did to me; because it she hadn’t…I hate to think of what could have happened; I hate to think that that body could have been real.

Ch. 4

Planting the Decoy.

We planted the dummy on the side of the road a quarter of a mile outside of town; then started driving. Orvin said we had to get far from town, like states far. I wasn’t sure about this, I didn’t know if I liked the thought. I and my family had moved around from place to place for my whole life. Now I understood why. I understood why every year or two we had left our ‘home’. I realized then we never actually had a home. We’d never stayed in one place for me to even make a good friend.

I’d never had a close friend. I’d never had someone other than my parents. It was sad to think of it that way, sad to think about the fact that no one, other than my parents had really known me or cared about me. I didn’t really notice, or particularly care then, and I didn’t now, now I had no one who cared about me, I really didn’t know or trust that Orvin did.

We were now in West Virginia. It had been six hours since we had left Pennsylvania. I had slept most of the way. I had that thoughtless feeling again; it was odd when Orvin’s interrupted my rush of incoming thought. His voice sounded much like my fathers, but only for a moment did I think it was actually Dad. “Awake now?”

“Yeah, at least I think so.”

“I thought about making a turning at the next rest stop. Sound good?”

“Yeah, I’m thirsty, and hungry. Anyway we could find a bathroom too?”

“I’m sure there’ll be one there.”

“Ok.” I didn’t have so much resentment for Orvin now; he was more like a partner than an Uncle though still. I was almost sure I could trust him, but I was cautious, I didn’t know if he was in cahoots with his sister or not. I still wanted to make sure that he wasn’t taking me to her so she wouldn’t have to come after me, possibly for money. This thought scared me and I looked out the window and the cliffs on either side of the highway.  “Have you ever thought about what it would be like to fall off a cliff? Or just to fall a far enough distance that you didn’t hit the ground within five seconds?” I said, in a sort of wondering voice.

“Oh yes, it’s actually happened to me before, though sometimes I really don’t wish to think of why I’ve fallen that far.”

“Have you ever asked yourself why the things in your life happened to you? Instead of getting dumped on someone else’s conscience? Or why people treated you the way they did?”

“Many a time, but I try not to think upon those things too much, it makes me mad, wind’s me up if you will. Trust me; it’s not the best state to be in when you’re going after a mass war criminal.”He laughed as he finished speaking. When I thought about what he meant by going after a mass war criminal I thought about him running on top of roofs and jumping over awnings with and AR-15 trying to catch up to some Aladdin type character with one of those cloth hats with the rope sash on it.

~<>~

“YOU LOST HER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HER?” Cora was screaming at the tall, muscular man in front of her. “I…gave…you…a job…and you…failed.”

She was breathing heavily now, the yelling had almost made her hoarse. She took her clenched fists off the desk she had been leaning over and sat back in the top-of-the-line office chair she had in her lavish, but dark and evil looking, office.

“You told me to target Orvin and Sandra, along with her husband so there weren’t any witnesses. You never told there was a girl.” Crecken said calmly, apparently not showing the fear inside him because he had failed his only employer.

“Oh, I see, you’re going to pull that card eh? I wouldn’t, I can chuck you out that door as fast as I brought you in,” she was pointing at the black office door with an also black painted fingernail, “Do not upset me Crecken, I don’t think you have any idea of what I could do to you.” Her voice was now calm, serene almost; it was an evil threatening calm though, a tone you wouldn’t want to hear if you really knew this woman.

“You missed Orvin too,” she was looking down, running her finger along the grain of the wood desk,” You missed both of them…what did you do? Go gallivanting around the town? How did you miss Orvin?” She was still threatening; this was beginning to scare him.

“Orvin wasn’t there, neither was the girl. If you really want to know where they were…why don’t you catch them and ask for yourself.” He turned to walk out, but he wasn’t going to leave without saying what he felt about what she’d just had him do.

“You know, I might be a mercenary, but I am not a murderer. I’ve only ever killed in a firing squad, and if you ask me, I really don’t think I want to end up on the barrel end of that firing squad.” He was quite turned to look at her, only his head and shoulders were facing her.

“Oh, you think I’m finished with you don’t you? Well, you’re very…very wrong. I’m not going to be finished with you until the bloody girl and my cursed brother are dead. So don’t, be fool enough to leave…otherwise…” And she lift her hand, as if to grab something from mid-air; then closed her fingers around this invisible object.

Crecken felt a searing pain course up his spine, then his throat tightened…he couldn’t breathe, what was happening? His lungs were empty, his head was beginning to throb, before he blacked out he got out one word. “Sabere.”